Today I Choose

Today I choose Life
I choose Freedom
I choose raw vulnerability
I choose the Road Less Traveled
I choose Courage and Honesty
I choose to reach deep inside
To the depths of my humanity
And become what I already am

(10-30-12)

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Illusion

I was abused in many ways.  But I’m not sad about it, at least not anymore.  What I’m most sad about it that I let it hold me back for so long, that I fooled myself into thinking I had a perfect life in many ways, denying the reality of being human.  Pain is inherent to humanity.  But we so often deny it, turn from it in shame, search for the safe haven of perfection.  That is an illusion.  There is no life in denying reality.  Only in allowing ourselves to feel fully–both pain and pleasure–can we be be fully alive.

(10-24-12)

Let Your Light Shine

I have 3 beautiful and artistic daughters, two who I welcomed into my heart through birth and one who I welcomed into my heart through marriage.  My middle daughter (age 9) took the picture above on Oct 24.  At four in the morning on Oct 25 I awoke, and these words were on my heart.  Knowing this moment would be gone if I continued my slumber, I arose and wrote for my girls.  Upon reflecting, I realize it’s for me as well.

Just because people
Aren’t doing it
Or wouldn’t approve
Don’t let that stop you
Always let your Light shine through
Not with the goal of being brighter
Than others
But for the purpose of
Illuminating the path

(10-25-12)

Miracles

I witnessed miracles today
Not one, but many:
The smell of campfire smoke
Crisp dry leaves
And pine needles
Vista view of a lake
Surrounded by the bounty
Of fall colors
Sunshine and cloudless blue sky
Filtered through golden leaves
The whisper of Spirit
Through a tranquil forest
I witnessed many miracles today
Not the least of which
Was simply Being

(10-21-12)

This Fall

Often fall ends quickly
The leaves turn and then
Are loosed from their captor
As if overnight
But not this fall
Each day I drive
Through a corridor
Of pale green
Brilliant yellow
Vibrant orange
And deep dark red
Marveling at the steadfast procession
Of color that surrounds me

This fall-
This fall is different
This fall is lingering
This is the first fall
In many years
That has not,
With the changing leaves,
Brought with it
A pervasive sadness
A rock in my belly
A sense of the beginning of an end

This fall
The leaves are still on the trees
Clinging to life
To faith
To the reluctant letting go
Of the old
In order to usher in
The new

(10-20-12)

Into the Light

Where do I go from here?
How do I put the pieces back together?
Even as I write this, I know the answer
The pieces are all there
They always have been
I went to see the Wizard
And he gave me a token
To represent my feelings
That I never lost
What I did lose
Was my ability to be
Vulnerable
Raw
Open
Too much pain, rejection, powerlessness
I created a prickly force field around me
To keep me safe
To keep me distant
But it has only brought sadness
And more pain
As an empowered woman
I reclaim my Freedom
Freedom to be vulnerable
To be real
To let people in
Today, I walk out into the Light

(10-15-12)