Spiritual Warrior

Poem 3 in the series…

Just when I thought the time
of grand pronouncements was over,
that I would no longer find myself
in strange churches or quiet moments
receiving holy messages,
God speaks when you least expect it,
a burning bush for everyday life.

Like Hildegard,
I am called to be a Spiritual Warrior,
to use my creativity to wake up the world.
The white hot fire of Spirit is inside me,
time to summon my moral outrage,
to reclaim the Divine Feminine
and march forth to stake my claim in this world,
make a difference, elicit perhaps only the slightest change,
in a person, a community, a country, or a universe

©SpiritLed 2012

 

Advertisements

Control

Poem 2 in the series…

It’s taken so long to get words on paper
The words come out
But they’re jumbled, messy
Thoughts form in my heart but get stuck in my mind
Swirling around, confusing and irritating my soul
Writing is my refuge, my soul’s escape
But my muse is fickle and dependent on an unhurried, uncluttered mind

So much life to live in only short spurts of time
The bending of time doesn’t happen so frequently
When I don’t give life over to Spirit.
I’ve tried to take control, to let earthly concerns dictate my heavenly path.
Control is the enemy of the soul;
It calls forth the ego, which reminds me where I’ve gone wrong,
Numbing my excitement for life

Trapped

I wrote a series of poems over the last few days.  They came in fits & spurts and I tried to make them all into one, but in the end, they wanted to be 3 poems.  I’m not even sure that they’re each complete, but nevertheless here is the first in the series.

It’s like I woke up one day to realize
I’m a priest working in a brothel
I don’t know how this came to be
But I do know that I’m the one I’ve been pimping out

The word “trapped” lingers in my mind
A reminder that a lifetime of decisions brought me here
Sometimes it seems it will be a lifetime before I redirect the course
But it can’t be — time is short to follow the path
The sense of urgency is strong

 

Birthing my Dreams

Recently I dreamed that I was with a woman who was giving birth.  I and the other women present were encouraging her as she worked when suddenly the thought came to me “just a head”.  Next, I looked at the birthing woman lying naked on her side, bearing down one last time as the baby crowned.  With one final push, the baby’s head emerged–and dropped to the floor.  Silence befell the room.  And there, in the stillness, a miracle occurred.  The baby’s body appeared, united with its discontinuous head.  Then I awoke.

I knew the dream was symbolic.  I’ve been hearing a voice sometimes while dreaming that says “This is important!  Remember this!”  However, I don’t usually wake up enough to write down my dreams and they’re lost by morning.  But this dream happened just before I woke for the day, and I knew instantly that it had deep meaning.  I pondered it for about a week, analyzing the possible symbolism.  What does birthing represent?  What can a headless baby possibly mean?  What about the body appearing?  

I started thinking about my life for the past few years, especially this whirlwind year:  my growth, my soul expansion, my dreams, my goals, my blocks.  And suddenly it came to me.  The birthing woman was ME, laboring to bring forth my own truth, my authentic existence to the world.  and just when I get to the moment of truth, the final moment when my labor of love is born into the world, it’s decapitated, lopped off by my fears, insecurities, distractions from the goal, feelings of unworthiness.  Despite all my hard work, there my dream rolls around, lifeless on the floor.  But in this dream, the body materializes and reconnects with its head.  The dream is made whole again, the labor complete, the need for mourning averted.  This is my message — the time is here for me to throw off fear, to reconnect my head to my body (which contains my heart), to go forth and do that which I am called to do.

Becoming a Creator

I took a long rest
A turning inward that started small
But grew to encompass a year or so sabbatical
During which I cloaked myself
In the caterpillar’s cocoon
Unknowing, going in, that change was inevitable
Only enjoying the solitude
The exploration of self
After so many years of living for the world
A short time (in the grand scheme of things)
To live for me

The caterpillar doesn’t realize
When she spins her protective barrier
That her entire makeup
Diminishes
Entirely new life is formed during her rest
And all the while the world goes on

I had a vision
I was on the edge of a ravine
With no end
Only unknown darkness
Those on the far side called, “We’re waiting.”
“Take the step.”
But I was too afraid
I was curious, felt the confines
Of the safety I’d created
But I wasn’t ready
And my uneasiness grew

Have you ever felt like you’re on the precipice,
Building up to a magnificent crescendo,
After which life as you know it
Will never be the same?
My wings were starting to form

The music became faster
The drumbeat more frantic
The tenseness of solitude
Began to nudge me from within
For often solitude becomes a fortress
Serves a purpose for rest and rejuvenation
But can hinder growth and expansion
Solitude became both a soul’s need
And a soul’s barrier
And the rhythm became stronger
Calling me to the next step in the journey

Until the realization came–
Creation is a birthright
The inner soul seeks to express
To use its gifts to affect the world
Shutting off of mind and body
Kills the soul
And with it joy, peace, and love
Contentment, happiness, gratitude, and health
Creation in all its forms brings new life
To a world that once seemed lost
A new message for this time

I’ve escaped my confines,
My self-imposed web of safety
Though I haven’t traveled far yet
The thin veil of freedom is still wrapped
Loosely around me
Drying in the sun
With the mandate to fully open to the world

Fear has taken up residence nearby
Tasked with showing me where I need to grow
Each day I take a step off that ravine
Into a darkness like no other
Each time I emerge with more
From deep inside
The pieces to the puzzle of a lifetime
Laid bare for all–
Raw
Vulnerable
Real

Don’t stand there and let the world happen to you, bending like a tree, subject to the wind.  Become a Creator.

(11-4-12)

Creation

Each day a new creation
A moment birthed in time immemorial
Tiny shreds of life fabric
Eternal life begins every instant

Life in a constant state of creation
Rebirthed as new existence
Even in death, a soul gives rise to new being
Co-creation with Divine Love
Evokes renewed experience, expanded belief, enlivened soul

(11-2-12)