The Angels remind us that flow is a part of our being, our very fabric. We aren’t meant to fight it, and yet we do, creating much pain and suffering for ourselves. Today, let go, even just a little bit. Become the flow of life and experience the peace it brings.
When did they first clip your wings?
When did you go to fly,
Like you’d done so many times before
And instead of soaring,
Fell, lifeless, to the ground?
When did you learn that flying high
Is too threatening for some,
So you shouldn’t – you didn’t – fly at all?
And when did that moment come,
When the pain of not flying,
The phantom pain of forgotten wings,
Became too much to bear?
When did you no longer have a choice but continue to suffer
Or uncover that which had seemingly been lost,
To delicately unfold those withered wings,
Longing for devotion,
And see if they could still hold
The weight of your dreams?
What if the only way to be free
Is to give up all we’ve ever known,
To turn our backs on that which
Has painfully brought us to this place
All the lies we brought inside
And raised like bitter children
Never letting them see the light of day
For fear their faces would be too much to bear
All the stories told late at night
Embedded in our minds
Like hand prints in fresh concrete
First told when only the wind howled in our empty souls
Hands cold from clutching at a heart
Already too far down the path to be constrained
What if we had to admit
That it was all a fallacy,
That grief can’t keep us grounded
And fear won’t make us whole,
That it’s only in receiving
That we’re able to give,
And it’s only in faith
That our hearts open to love?
Throughout our lives, we make a lot of choices. Some work out, some don’t. Over time, as we look back and reflect, we often see our mistakes as some kind of internal flaw, an obvious defect that, had it been corrected much earlier, would have changed the course of our lives. This thinking leads to a deep lack of trust – in people, in situations, and most especially in ourselves.
When we feel we can’t be trusted to make the best decisions for our own lives, it jars our belief in ourselves as a person. We feel unworthy and in need of someone or something outside of us to help guide and direct us. We start to give up our power, our direction, our belief that we can take care of ourselves in the best way.
Sometimes, this trust is broken by an external event. Our children leave home and need us less, leaving us feeling empty and unsure of what to do next. Our spouse makes the decision to move on without us. We face a traumatic loss that causes us to question everything. No matter our great choices, life is now different and our trust in the patterns and expectations of life are shattered.
Grief, anger, fear, shame, and sadness are all emotional results of loss of trust. When we lose trust in ourselves, we grieve this loss. We carry a sadness that can be masked and avoided by busyness yet still lurks below the surface. We feel shame that we made these choices or allowed these things to happen to us, even when we didn’t actually have that kind of control. We get angry at the unfairness of it all, yet retreat back to our corners in fear that one more wrong choice will create more pain.
I remember the day someone told me I carried a great sadness. I was shocked. I didn’t feel sad. What did I even have to be sad about? Then I started observing myself more closely, especially in the quiet times when I was alone. I recall sitting in my car one morning during my commute and feeling the heavy weight of sadness like someone had draped a wet blanket over me. It was both nauseating and suffocating.
Had I always been this sad? How could I have avoided feeling this for so long?
It wasn’t until I started to allow more stillness into my life and to peel back the layers of blame for choices that didn’t turn out like I’d hope – so many not even my own – that I started to release the sadness, grief, anger, shame, and fear.
In my personal work and work with others, I’ve realized that much of our avoidance of issues comes from overthinking to the point that we drown out our inner guidance. Our inner guidance tells us that we ARE worthy, we ARE to be trusted, we DO make good choices for ourselves, and we CAN’T control other people or take the blame for their choices, even if they affect us. Yet, to get to that place, we have to sit through the voices the yell the opposite. We have to be still long enough to tell those voices to be quiet, so we can hear the real truth within. And it’s difficult. One of the most difficult things we will ever do is to confront those voices that steer us away from our inner guidance and truth. It’s also one of the most uplifting and healing.
I offer you a few techniques that have helped me and other women who’ve reached that place where they’re ready for radical change. That place where the risk of staying put and accepting the lack of trust is no longer worth the painful side effects. That point in time where something inside stirs and whispers, “enough is enough.”
- Notice how you feel in your body – We often get stuck in that place of thinking too much and not allowing ourselves to be—be quiet, be sad, be grief-stricken, be us. There are some recognizable signs that we’re in that place. We feel stress, worry, and doubt. We don’t know how to move forward or make a decision. We feel “buzzy” or heavy energy around our heads, heart, and/or belly. When we recognize these are signs of being stuck, of now allowing trust in our inner guidance, we can find a safe, quiet place to be still and work through it.
- Be still and allow– As much as the idea of getting really quiet with your own thoughts may sound frightening, it’s a necessary step. You have to allow yourself the space to get past all the loud thoughts so you can get to the quiet ones. This may take time, if you’re not used to it. Start with just a few minutes a few days a week and build up. You didn’t reach this place overnight; you don’t have to unravel it overnight either.
- Drop down – When we’re overthinking, we’re in our heads. That’s why we feel lots of energy there. However, inner guidance comes from the heart or the gut. When you want guidance but can’t seem to quiet your thoughts, focus your attention on your heart space. Imagine a beautiful, healing pink bubble of light situated right in front of your heart, glowing with peace and calm. Keep focusing on the bubble until your breathing slows naturally and your racing thoughts begin to clear. Return to the bubble as often as necessary.
If you’re at a point in your life where you’re feeling the weight of sadness, grief, anger, shame, or fear affecting you and you’re ready to do something about it, I stand with you on your journey, and I summon for you the collective energy of all the women before you who have taken this step.
Trust that you are worthy. Trust that you are enough. Trust that the healing can begin. And if you need one-on-one support, feel free to reach out to me.
Love and light,
P.S. Click HERE to learn more about the healing work I do.
When you feel the world closing in
When it seems all is dark
And all is lost
And four walls ominously bear down
On a soul longing only for freedom
When you feel so tired
So exhausted, and you wish the world
Would turn without you
And sleep would heal all the tears
You didn’t have the strength to cry
When the pain is too much
The days are too long
The minutes turn to hours turn to days turn to years
Before your eyes
And all joy seems to fade away
When the dark night swirls around you
Know that We are here
From that place inside where you dare not go
The open space beyond all shadows
Your inner sanctuary
Where love and peace rule the day
And pain is no more
Seek us there, if you will
When this world gets to be too much
When it seems you can’t go on