Seeker

“I have no right to call myself one who knows. I was one who seeks, and I still am, but I no longer seek in the stars or in books; I’m beginning to hear the teachings of my blood pulsing within me. My story isn’t pleasant, it’s not sweet and harmonious like the invented stories; it tastes of folly and bewilderment, of madness and dream, like the life of all people who no longer want to lie to themselves.”

~Hermann Hesse, Demian

Spiritual Warrior

Poem 3 in the series…

Just when I thought the time
of grand pronouncements was over,
that I would no longer find myself
in strange churches or quiet moments
receiving holy messages,
God speaks when you least expect it,
a burning bush for everyday life.

Like Hildegard,
I am called to be a Spiritual Warrior,
to use my creativity to wake up the world.
The white hot fire of Spirit is inside me,
time to summon my moral outrage,
to reclaim the Divine Feminine
and march forth to stake my claim in this world,
make a difference, elicit perhaps only the slightest change,
in a person, a community, a country, or a universe

©SpiritLed 2012

 

Trapped

I wrote a series of poems over the last few days.  They came in fits & spurts and I tried to make them all into one, but in the end, they wanted to be 3 poems.  I’m not even sure that they’re each complete, but nevertheless here is the first in the series.

It’s like I woke up one day to realize
I’m a priest working in a brothel
I don’t know how this came to be
But I do know that I’m the one I’ve been pimping out

The word “trapped” lingers in my mind
A reminder that a lifetime of decisions brought me here
Sometimes it seems it will be a lifetime before I redirect the course
But it can’t be — time is short to follow the path
The sense of urgency is strong

 

My Spiritual Path

My spiritual path is one of awakening to the world as it really is and to myself as I already am.  I do feel a pull to become something different and I often struggle against that until I find the wherewithal to step back and realize that I simply need to let myself Be.  That’s the hardest part, as we live in a world of constant improvement.  There is even a perceived summit of spirituality.  It’s only when I stop trying so hard, when I stop searching outside myself for the answers, that I experience the fleeting comfort of inner peace.  So that is my path:  sometimes two steps forward, three steps back, sometimes circuitous, but always bringing me back to awareness that the deepest knowing is already present, if only I would let go to Spirit. (9-19-12)

Doctrine & Dogma

I’ve struggled with religion for a long time, ever since my own “fall from Grace” in high school.  Prior to that, I was very active in my church and I had close relationship (I thought) with God.    But there was always something that didn’t quite fit.  I realize, now that I understand spirituality differently, that what was missing for me was the concept that everything is religion.  Religion, God, is not (to me) something outside of me, a goal to be reached.  It is constantly within me and all that is around me.  In recognizing this, suddenly my relationship with God, my Source, became real for the first time.  No doctrine or dogma to create a barrier.  Don’t get me wrong, one of the things I enjoyed about my former religious experiences was the rituals and ceremony; however, now those activities serve to enhance the experience, rather than serve as a necessity to reach the Source.  (10-9-12)

The Questions of My Heart

How many questions live unresolved in my heart!  I am seeking to discover and live my life’s purpose and it is unfolding slowly, step by step by step. I am constantly asking the Divine and my guides for guidance, and the answer I most often receive is “the answers are already within you”.  So frustrating!  And yet so often true.  So the questions that are constantly in my heart are:  What is my purpose?  What is my path?  What are my next steps?  The trick is keeping these questions present and my heart open for guidance, while not thinking about the answers so much that thinking overshadows any guidance I may receive.  (9-30-12)

Pages of my life

If you looked at the pages of my life, you would learn that doing too much without asking for help or taking care of yourself in the process leads to a myriad of physical, emotional, and spiritual issues.   That self care is not selfish; in fact, it’s essential.   That what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, but that we’ve had the power all along to make things easier.   That seemingly unimportant events and experiences can be the seed or even the actual catalyst for major life change.  That the challenges we face, though often excruciatingly painful at the time, lay the foundation for the higher path we’re here on this earth to do, and for the person that we’re supposed to be, if we only choose to learn from them rather than wallow in the pain or use it as an excuse.  That higher guidance is always available, even when we don’t recognize it or reach for it. (9-28-12)

In the Name of “God”

Prior to my current spiritual journey, I simply spoke of “God”, a reflection on my understanding of the Divine as a singular, distant being.  Over the past few years, however, I’ve come to understand the Divine as being part of all things in the Universe, multi-faceted and multi-dimensional, simultaneously expressing as me and through me.  Because of this, the term “God” no longer seems to fit.  God represents, to me, the distant being of ancient religion, an unattainable human goal.  To relate as “Source”, “Spirit”, or the “Divine” connects me both to where I came from and what I am.  I tend to use these terms interchangeably now;  however, certain rituals still lend themselves to “God” for me.  Out of habit, I still pray to God, but now it’s “Father-Mother God”.  In this, I maintain comfort in an old ritual while still upgrading the image of God in my mind to a duality of both male and female.  Including God as mother adds the inherent nurturing quality of a woman, once again making “God” less of a being on high and instead more approachable, attainable, and innately loving.  (9-21-12)